Navigating the Mental Load

In the intricate, interwoven nature of family life, I myself have gone through and witnessed the hidden burden carried by many mothers – the notorious "mental load."

It's this never ending checklist of tasks: health checks, play dates, school forms, before school activities, after school activities, the numerous birthdays, the uniforms,the books,the endless buying of lost pencils and erasers, and the whirlwind of activities defining our children's lives. Adding to this ceaseless list is the whirlwind of managing household jobs of cooking, cleaning, groceries, washing, repairs ....on R.E.P.E.A.T.

Despite strides in society, data from the Australian Institute of Family Studies underscores a stark reality – mothers bear the brunt, often reaching a staggering 78%.

As a life coach specializing in supporting migrant women of color, I intimately understand this silent struggle. Drawing from the experiences of 10 of my coachees (from the past year),who disclosed this very struggle to me, I've crafted a resource, a lifeline, based on their successes. This resource is born not just from professional insight but from my own journey grappling with the mental load.

Even in an era of shared responsibilities, mothers find themselves juggling work, childcare, and an unending list of family logistics.

This challenge, rooted in historical gender roles, persists despite the passing decades. The mental load remains an invisible force tugging at mothers, including those from migrant communities.

Do not get me wrong,there are echoes in my coaching sessions where the partners' willingness to contribute is acknowledged, the caveat being that there have to be explicit requests.

There is also an acknowledgement that work flexibility hurdles often impede a tangible shift in the gender division of labor.

Now, let's delve into the layers of complexity faced by migrant women of color. Cultural conditioning, with its intricate nuances, adds an extra weight to an already heavy load. This unique challenge demands nuanced understanding and tailored support, which my resource aims to provide.

Picture this: migrant mothers going to work, unable to switch off from thoughts about dentist appointments, birthdays, and their children's overall well-being. The mental load, aptly described as an "invisible, enduring, and boundless problem," is a narrative only understood by those who live it.

While fathers are stepping into "fun tasks," the unseen mental work behind family life persists.

"Women just keep going," -Dr. Brendan Churchill,Australian Institute of Family Studies

Preparation and communication are potential game-changers. I've observed a growing number of mothers engaging in proactive discussions with their partners before childbirth – a preemptive strike against the looming mental load.

What I have experienced myself, and have realised is that in navigating these complexities, it's crucial to recognize and address the unique challenges faced by every individual. For migrant women of color, my resource acknowledges the cultural conditioning that intensifies the load. Crafted based on my own experience and the vital input of my coachees, it offers solutions rooted in real, everyday experiences.

The silent struggle of the mental load is profound, an enduring story of endurance, resilience, and the need for a collective shift.

Through my coaching and this resource, I aim to unmute these experiences, acknowledge the weight, and work towards a world where the mental load is distributed more equitably.

Understanding the depth of the challenge is the first step to unravel and address it. You can download the 'Unburdened Brilliance' resource and try it out for yourself too. Feel free to email me at [email protected] for any feedback,queries and questions.

See you in the next blog post.